We haven’t talked much about friendships. We’ve discussed being vulnerable, loving, accepting and grace-filled towards others.. But we haven’t talked about the friendships that can be filled with negativity and hurt; the friendships that sometimes just don’t work. I think so often we feel like in order to be loving and gracious we have to give second chance upon second chance. We have to keep pushing through and trying. Keep working on the relationships that don’t always feel the best. But before we know it we are left with a lot of hurt and disconnect, wondering how this happened and how you got there. I want you to know that it’s okay to say good-bye sometimes. That it takes strength and bravery to realize when a friendship isn’t working and to decide to part ways.. And that its okay to do so.
Walking away from a negative relationship
doesn’t make you a bad person.
It doesn’t make you an un-loving or unforgiving person either. Walking away can help you grow and become a stronger, better person.It can open doors that will lead you to better things; better people. I know it’s hard and scary.. But girl, it will get easier and so much better. And if it doesn’t, I know of Someone amazing who will catch you if you fall. And earth side, I know a pretty amazing group of girls that would love to be your friend!
Gossip. I know gossip is something that is often talked about and yet, as women especially, we tend to find ourselves gossiping more often than not. We have many reasons for doing so but perhaps the most unthought of reason is because by doing so, we allow ourselves to feel better about who we are. As we talk badly about someone else we think we’re managing to make someone else look worse than us and in return, we get to feel a little better about ourselves for a few moments in time. But it’s sad. Instead of knocking people down, instead of making comments like, “Ashley looks like she put on 10 pounds over the holidays”, why don’t we try to be positive? How about, “Did you see that Natalie got new glasses? She looks so fabulous!”
Be the person who digs through the
dirt and finds the gold buried there.
It’s not always as hard to find as we think. Surround yourself with people who talk about the good. People who focus on building each other up rather than discussing other people’s lives and looks. Build people up. Not just your best friends, but everyone. Every person you pass in the hall has been intentionally placed in this world. They are loved, their bodies were created and they too need to find their way. They’re on their own path of personal growth and they too have purpose. Exactly like you.
Are you helping or hindering them? Are you someone who is being used for good in their life or are you hurting them? Words have power- they are just as powerful in your friends ears as they are in others. Build someone up today. Stop a rumour tonight. Know you’re loved and that even in a room full of wonderful, accomplished and attractive people, you are still a star, just as you are. You don’t need to tear others down to shine brighter. And, if you are a child of God, you are the apple of His eye. Build others up, word by word, action by action.
“The tongue is a small thing but what enormous damage it can do.” – James 3:5 (NLT)
When you find yourself saying negative things about your appearance, or someone else’s appearance.. I want you to stop and remember these things. I want you to remember that it’s what’s on the inside that counts. It is the inside that makes someone truly beautiful. I want you to remember that you were intentionally created. That you are breathtakingly beautiful. That you are kind and loving and that, if you are a child of God, He looks at you with the ultimate nod of approval and says, “I am enthralled by your beauty.”
I tried my hand at podcasting this week and am so excited to share my thoughts on beauty and why I think you’re beautiful! You can find the the podcast here.